From Maxim, 100 Things You Need to Know about Women (my faves):

100) girls enjoy always having something wrong with them: headache, cramps, blister.

99) If your date shows up with stubbly legs you're not gettin' any.

94) Never trust a woman with no girlfriends=PSYCHO!!!

91) She still has love letters and gifts from former lovers.

88) If you get a number on Friday, use it on Tuesday or Wednesday.

82) What do women really want in bed? Blankets! They're colder than us.

80) If women have an excuse to take a pill-they will. Give ‘em something good!

78) She hates your XBOX/PS2/PC games. She may yell “you're a Jerk!”

73) A woman will use 10 men for every 1 she loves, so if you've helped her move, and haven't gotten any lovin' you're 1 of the 10.

67) Kiss her after 2 dates or you'll become a “friend”

63) In the US , 21% of women 18-59 wait until they're married

62) A British study claims that women's chances of getting married drop 40% for every 16point increase in her IQ. For men, it impoves by 35%.

60) Chix say “be gentle with my thingies”

51) Don't call her “cute”, she thinks it means “well, you don't gross me out”

50) Women buy shoes 2 sizes too small because they hate their feet.

49) Women wonder what it's like to go in a urinal.

46) women want to talk dirty in bed. Let ‘em know you like it too.

42) women who don't know each other, compliment each other's hair, clothes, shoes to signify that they're not competitive

38) Let her beat you at something: checkers, darts, pool

35) Girls, like you, hate clingy partners

33) The average woman owns 8 bras, which she washes after wearing 5 times!

32) Women will not sit on any toilet other than their own, they “hover” on public toilets

29) On a 1 st date, women never order what they really want to eat.

25) At least 1 of her friends wants you. Hopefully, her friends aren't all guys.

22) Tell your girl that a hottie hit on you that day and you'll get some that night .

18) the more piercings she has, the more places you can expect to put it.

11) She's attracted to 1 of your friends

10) Ugly chix hang out with hot chix to feel hot. Hot chix hang with ugly chix to feel hotter.

9) The moment she decides she's attracted to you, she tries to imagine what your kids would look like.

2) If your woman finds out another female helped pick out her present, she'll hate it.

1) Most women claim they've had sex with 5-10 men which really means 20-30.